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Love’s Supreme Desire Tabloid,  December 2000

Love’s Supreme Desire Tabloid, in publication since 1995, is a free internet-based more-or-less-monthly publication written by Blue, aka Bluebird. This publication is enjoyable read by Agnes or Fred in Simpletext. Submissions are welcome. Feel free to forward the tabloid to any interested parties. For more info, write bluemoor@earthlink.net or check out the eGroup at http://www.egroups.com/group/LovesSupremeDesireTabloid

Join the new LovesSupremeDesireTabloid eGroup if you want more frequent and intimate email from me and others and a more interractive, space age eGroup (soon to merge with Yahoo Clubs) environment. All of the Tabloids starting with January 2000 are now posted to the group, as well as other writings, pictures, and there are currently 24 members. If you decide to join, I’d suggest unsubscribing from this list to avoid duplicate mailings.

There is a photo of me at the eGroup, which was taken by
Jim Hankle http://hometown.aol.com/mijsf39/myhomepage/index.html

OK so I went a little crazy with the eGroups, I just started one for Show Show, the comedy series we've been putting together over the past few years. We just finished our second 24 minute episode. This space is very new so there's not much here right now, but in the future there will be clips, stills and insider indie-video production dish (http://www.egroups.com/group/ShowShowFanClub). Thanks, Show Show: Eric Dominguez, Jim Jeske, Mark Kliem, Lars Micha, Blue Moor, Pony, Pete and others

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12/02 8:21 pm
    I just posted this to the new eGroup:
“Hey, thanks for checking out this club. I'm so psyched to see that there are new members, and this is only the second (actually the first) day of the egroup. I'm hoping this egroup will provide for a more interractive form of virtual communication than the old e-mail message format of the LSD Tabloid, which sort of went
out into space to people I knew and/or loved as well as other people who were just email addresses to me. Here, there are member profiles and pictures and just a greater feeling of being able to possibly get to know someone, or just reaching out to a larger group of people from all over the world, so that is exciting for me. I just sort of threw this eGroup together on the spur of the moment smoking a bowl last night (until 3 AM) but it's actually something I've wanted to do for a long time, that is to have a
Love's Supreme Desire webpage. But this environment feels so much more interesting and alive to me than a static web page. Anyway, I'm psyched to be here and I'm psyched that you're here. I am open to comments or questions about the tabloid or anything contained therein. I also encourage people to post their own journal entries, spiritual/sexual/magickal experiences, poetry, whatever. I may occasionally ask to publish your material in the email version of the Tabloid, of course respecting your privacy and
copywrite protection. This is the virtual version of the artists collective that I envisioned when I started the Love's Supreme Desire XXX collective back in 1995. So this club is not just about me and my writings, it's very much about us and whatever we create together in a loving way, putting good energy out into the world. I should have the next Tabloid out before too long. Tonight I'm off to work the door at a bear party. Wishing you the best, Blue”
    So that explains why the new format. I hope you like it.

Ohmigod life is too much fun by far
    After years of contending with residual Catholic guilt, I’ve finally embraced my sexual/spirituality in a very deep way. The details of this manifestation are not something that I want to write about in this forum, but those of you who know me personally in San Francisco know what I’m talking about. What can I say? I reach an ecstatic spiritual state and consciously channel love energy into the world when I’m being sexual. It seems to be my niche, my specialty, my role in life. How much is too much? I don’t know, but I play safe and give up my actions to the Universe in a spirit of channeling more love and light into the world, and I keep being drawn into what I call the Temple of Priapus.
    Priapus is a lesser Greek god of fertility (associated with Pan). The phrase keeps on going through my head, it’s something that clicks with me. I’m not saying I’ve literally joined some sort of cult of Priapus but my actions are in line with the worship of fertility, and this is one of the most ancient forms of spirituality. Enough about that for now, but I feel like I had to say something about it because it’s such a tasty part of my life.

    I wrote the above lines after a night of unprecedented revelry at the 14th st house on Thanksgiving night. I was feeling elated and liberated and free, channeling love energy. A day or two passed before I had an uninspiring blow-n-go trick with some guy I met on Yahoo, and then I had to deal with shitty energy for a few days. Now I’m feeling all excited about the new format, and here just a month or so ago I was talking about dropping the Tabloid altogether. Life is weird like that.

12/05 8:37 PM
    Right now I’m watching the old “Rudolph the Red-nosed Raindeer” classic Christmas show with Burl Ives as the banjo-playing, singing snowman narrator. Yukon Cornelius is fighting the abominable snowman. I’m kind of a sucker for Christmas, I know that’s not very pagan PC but for me it’s not about the whole Jesus thing so much as it is about the lights, the tinsel, the hanging out with friends eating food, getting a bit tipsy, giggling, having fun. I love Christmas carols, love putting up the tree.
This time of year is even more fun now that I’m into the solstice and recognize the energies there and have all that Christmas fun  plus the usual ecstatic pagan revelries.


12/09 10:35 PM
    I’m staying home and it’s Saturday night. There was a big pansexual party happening but I wasn’t in the mood. I have to work tomorrow at 7:30 AM anyway. I was just watching “White Christmas” and now I’m watching the original version of “The Fly.” My big cat is sitting next to me giving me little bites every once in a while so I’ll give him some lovin. Last week we finally got our silver Christmas tree up, it’s a three feet tall one we got at WalGreen’s a few years ago. We also finally fixed our fiber optic Christmas tree. Now if I could just get in the mood to shop and do all of that shit. I know I don’t have to but I want to get some stuff for my family at the very least; it’s only once a year.

12/15/00 7:11 PM
    My work week is halfway thru, it's been a good week. Sunday night I met up with Jim Hankle (see links, files at http://www.egroups.com/group/LovesSupremeDesireTabloid) and Howard and did the photography thing and it went well, although we decided not to work together on this project. Jim and I will continue to do our photo sessions. I had so much fun I ended up crashing there, then spent the next day cowriting, performing and assisting Lars while he edited a new scene for Show Show. It turned out well. We're happy because it replaces a scene that we decided we liked in some ways but really disliked in others, while preserving some of the funny bits from the first skit. In the new scene I'm channeling Edith Massey, playing myself as a mad diva killing off the other members of "Show Show" one by one. I felt really stiff during the shoot but I guess it turned out OK. It's hard to be objective about it. I enjoy watching myself on video just because it's such a trip. It's hard to explain. I mean where else do you get to observe yourself, let alone observe yourself trying to be funny, or channel some weird character? I Find the whole process of creating Show Show to be very fun and more fulfilling than any other project I have undertaken. I just love hanging out with Lars, Eric and Mark and putting something together, causing people to laugh. Laughter is such beautiful energy. I didn't leave their house until around 9 Monday night, then I went over to Marty's for the tail end of yoga, potluck, Voyager, and two episodes of the Simpson's (my favorite show of all time). That night I went over to Stuart and John's place in Oakland (where I may be going tonight). Stuart is the "instructor" at the Monday night yoga class and he and John are really cool and sweet. I drove with John in a big yellow PENSKE truck out to Montana to the Rainbow gathering in Montana this past summer and we had a blast. The next day a bunch of us went to see "Best in Show" (my second time), which is one of my favorite new movies. It's so funny! Then we went to Ocean Beach with Haia and I came home and did a load of laundry. I hate doing stinky boring heavy laundry so I got really stoned and waited til the last minute before the "last load" at 6 PM. I put my laundry in two machines, set it all up and ran back home (around the block) to compulsively check my email and watch TV until I had to go back to the laundromat. When I got there I discovered one load of laundry finished and ready to go into the dryer, one empty machine finishing up its run, and a still machine full of dry dirty-ass clothes. I felt pretty dumb but laughed it off and then wondered if I smoke too much pot. I can’t remember what I decided.
    More likely than not, it's just that I was thinking so much that night, processing all the stuff that happened in the past few days, tripping on another Bush becoming President, Christmas coming up, stuff at work, just thinking so hard I wasn't in the moment. This time of year is stressful for me, but anyway it's all a state of mind, it doesn't have to be stressful. Wednesday was a shitty day at work, Wednesdays are my Mondays so I’m usually all weekend-minded, distracted and crabby until the second day of the work week. That night I went over to Marty’s and watched TV and cuddled with friends. Thursday I went to the weekly Show Show meeting at Lars’ and then came home and hung out with Owie.
    Tonight I’m not sure what I’m doing after this, it may be a stay-at-homer or I may hook up with some friends. Tomorrow is the big Solstice Party, which is sure to be scandiferous and magickal. So anyway all’s well here, I’m enjoying hosting the new eGroup but it’s brought up all kinds of ego questions for me, like for a few days there when the number of members froze at 19. I started checking the club all the time for new members, thinking, I’ll never get another member, I’m the only one posting, I’m such a loser. Then I had to start letting go of the whole thing, remembering that this is not about me and my ego, it’s just about wanting to put something out there, some of my life, my truth. If people connect with it, cool. It’s not a numbers game.

Tabloid Tarot
I am using the Aleister Crowley Thoth deck of tarot cards, and refer to an excellent book called "The tarot handbook: practical applications of ancient visual symbols," by Angeles Arrien, Arcus Publishing Company, 1987. I will do a three-card spread representing past, present, and future. I’m never sure if this is a general reading (for the readers) or for myself, but I suppose it’s always a bit of both. The reading is as follows:
PAST: IX, The Hermit (here I am being a hermit right now)
    “Represents the universal principle of completion, contemplation and introspection.” Sure sounds like it’s talking about me here now, completing the December LSD Tabloid...
PRESENT: Ace of Cups, “is the open heart, the trusting heart, the spiritual heart... the capacity to express accurately feelings that are experienced internally.” This is my aspiration.
FUTURE: Three of Cups, “is abundance. This is the abundant communicating heart.” It’s trippy, or is it just me, how much this reading seems to be talking about me, right now, writing the Tabloid. It’s cool when tarot readings are so clear like that. I wish you a Merry Whatever and a Happy New Year. Namaste, Blue

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Upcoming events, internet links and contacts:
Note: longstanding links have been moved to the eGroup at http://www.egroups.com/group/LovesSupremeDesireTabloid. This space will be for new links and time-sensitive information each month.